A Different Christmas
by bellarke.loveforever
Summary: One-Shot. Set in between 1x08 & 1x09. Clarke is used to Christmas on the Ark. Now the holidays make her less jolly. When Octavia notices, what will she do to help her friend stay positive? And will it involve moonshine and Bellamy? (Just some random holiday fanfic I wanted to write. fluff)


**Author Note: Well, a Christmas Bellarke story. I was writing this mainly Christmas Eve and had hoped to post it then, but stupid me forgot to wrap presents and had to finish getting ready for Christmas, and didn't have time to finish the story and post it. And I also spent all day with family, so I'm a little late on my Christmas fanfic... Sorry!**

**Also, warning, I know I'm not the best writer. But, hey, I tried :) Anyway, REVIEWS ARE AMAZING THINGS. That can be your gift to me, a review of my story! :) I love reviews and I love the 100 and Bellarke!**

Clarke opened her eyes, sleep draining away from her. The ground was cold even under the blankets she was wrapped in. She could hear everyone shuffling around outside, working on various jobs and finding food.

Clarke sighed and got up from the blankets. It wasn't as cold as she thought, but it wasn't exactly hot either. She walked out from her tent. Everything seems normal, she thought to herself.

_Then why do you feel so… down?_ A voice in her head whispered.

_Oh you know why, don't pretend you don't. It's _that _day._ She whispered back.

She glanced over to where Raven and Octavia were talking as they passed out more blankets, then over to Finn, staring at the ground to hide that he was just staring at her. She looked around for Bellamy, and found him barking orders to Miller. Just when she brought her eyes to him, he looked over at her. Their gazes locked and he gave her a slight head nod and then went back to his work.

She walked over to Octavia and Raven, who were talking about the drop in temperature.

"Hey Clarke, do you know why it's gotten colder?" Octavia asked.

"It might be seasons depending on where we are. On Earth, the seasons change and with that so does the temperature, but I don't know if that's why. Maybe it means more rain?" She suggested.

"I hope it's snow!" Octavia burst, earning weird glances from both Raven and Clarke. "What? Haven't you heard of how beautiful snow is? Bell used to tell me stories of Earth, not the super scientific kind, but of nature and the planet's beauty. I always wanted to see snow!"

"Snow would be pretty…" Clarke trailed off, distracted.

"Okay, cut the crap. What's wrong Clarke?" Raven questioned.

Raven and Clarke hadn't been great friends. Quite the opposite, actually. Clarke fell for Finn, and they slept together, but later when Raven came to Earth, Clarke found out that Finn was Raven's boyfriend. When Raven found out she was more than upset, she practically hated Clarke. Clarke's heart broke, and so did Raven's, but they were starting to become friends. Even though every conversation for them was like treading on water so they didn't bring up Finn or anything they would start a fight over.

"It's nothing, I guess."

"Clarke, we know you well enough to know when something's not right."

"Fine. It's Christmas today." She whispered.

"It's what?" Octavia and Raven asked in sync.

"Christmas. My favorite holiday that I learned about with my family and Wells. Wells and I discovered it in one of the books we read in the library back on the Ark. We used to celebrate it with just our families. It was perfect, and filled with joy and hope. Now, I just don't know." Her face fell just thinking about it.

Octavia moved closer to Clarke, putting a hand on her arm.

They hadn't been actual friends either, but recently Octavia had been opening up to others more, and she seemed to be needing a friend, and Clarke wasn't going to deny her one. Also, Clarke didn't see anything wrong with Octavia's choice of loving Lincoln, whereas everyone else seemed extremely negative on the topic. Octavia loved him and was happy, and it was _her_ life, so Clarke wouldn't be judgmental, and Octavia was grateful for that. They did have a problem after Clarke and Bellamy tortured Lincoln to save Finn, but Octavia got over it after Clarke didn't pursue the issue of Lincoln's escape. Now they were basically friends and they looked after each other.

"What's so special about Christmas?" Raven asked.

"Well, I didn't get all the information I would have liked, but what I know is that the holiday was in the winter, when it was really cold. In certain places it would be snowy and people would sit by fires and drink something called eggnog. Also, it was one of the days everyone got to spend completely with family and exchange presents. The present exchange was really fun, but my favorite part of the holiday was just spending time with the people I loved." She smiled a small smile at the memory.

"Well why is that so bad? Sounds like fun!" Octavia tried to lighten the mood Clarke was creating.

She looked up at them, eyes sad. "My father is dead, and my best friend was murdered here on Earth, and he took the blame for the longest time of killing my father when it was really my mother! Even if I was still on the Ark, and not in prison, I would be with my mother, oblivious to that fact that she's responsible for my dad'd death. Does that sound fun?" Tears brimmed her eyes.

They shook their heads. "Sorry Clarke, I didn't mean-"

"It's alright." Clarke cut Octavia off, trying to get away before anyone saw her crying. Why was she crying at all? She was supposed to be the strong one here. "I'm going to visit Wells, Merry Christmas both of you."

Clarke left them standing there, watching her go. She wondered toward the gate, seeing the kids in camp laughing or smiling as they worked. At least some people were happy on Christmas, even if they didn't know what it was.

"Going somewhere, Princess?"

Clarke quickly wiped her eyes before turning around. "I'm visiting someone, not that it's any of your business."

He held his hands up in mock defense. "Just trying to be concerned. No one is supposed to go out of the gate without a weapon to protect them. Where's yours?"

"Want to chaperone me, Bellamy?" She flipped sarcastically.

"Hey, I'm trying to be nice here, what's your deal?" He asked, eyes softening.

"Just a bad day."

"The day has barely begun for you. You've been up for, like, five minutes!"

"Well, I'm going to visit Wells and you can't stop me." She began to walk again.

"You're right," he called. "I can't stop you, but I can follow you." She heard his footsteps fall behind her.

She smiled despite her current mood. It was actually really kind of Bellamy to make sure she was protected when she left camp, even if she was only going about ten feet outside the wall.

When they reached Wells' grave, she knelt down next to it, thinking of a few years ago.

Wells and Clarke had been playing chess in her flat, while Jake and Thelonious watched an old sports game on the TV. Abby was cleaning up some things and gathering everyone's presents. They had just eaten a decent meal and now were settling down before the chaos of presents ensued.

Wells was currently beating Clarke at their game, but she had some tricks up her sleeve. Without a second thought, she moved her queen, and called out "checkmate" and knocked over his king.

He laughed and shook his head, crossing his arms. "Every time, Griffin. I think I'm about to win, I can even see the next move that will help me, and you come back and destroy that chance. How does she do it?" He grinned at her.

"That's a secret I shall never tell!" She got up to join her dad on the couch, when Wells came up behind her and tickled her. She almost squealed, but couldn't because she was laughing too hard.

"Hey, no roughhousing!" Jake laughed at the two.

"Did Clarke beat him in chess _again_?" Abby came back, asking her husband as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Did you doubt her?" He asked, turning his head so their faces were inches apart.

"Never. She is your daughter, after all." She leaned in and kissed him.

"Wells! Cut it out!" Clarke yelled in between her fits of laughter.

He finally let Clarke go, putting up his hands. Smiling, Clarke wearily backed up to the couch and sat by her dad. Abby went back to grab the presents, came back and distributed them to their correct owner.

Clarke opened hers, revealing paper from her parents, and colored pencils from Wells and his father. She let out a small gasp.

"Guys! This must've cost a fortune! Paper _and_ colored pencils? This is amazing! You guys are the best!" She hugged her parents, and Wells, and shook Thelonious' hand, thanking each one of them. "One of the best Christmas' ever!"

A hand on her shoulder brought Clarke back to the present.

"Clarke, are you okay?" Bellamy's voice was laced with concern. It was only then Clarke realized she was crying, the tears dripping onto Wells' grave.

She stood up and faced Bellamy, trying to find the words to tell him nothing was wrong, or some excuse. She hated crying, it wasn't a show of strength, and she wanted people to think she was strong. The more she tried to find words and speak, the more they were caught in her throat, causing more tears.

Bellamy stood there for a moment, dumbfounded. This was Clarke, one of the strongest people he knew, besides Octavia, and she was just standing there, crying. He knew he should leave, because this must've been a personal moment and he was intruding, but he couldn't leave her, not like this. And certainly not alone.

He moved closer to her, looking into her eyes and seeing a brokenness he'd never noticed. Without even thinking he moved his hands up to her cheeks, wiping the tears from her eyes. She tilted her head into his hands, letting them catch her falling tears. They stood there like that for a few moments, not wanting to shatter the moment.

It was while he held her face in his hands, Bellamy realized how beautiful she really was. She was small, but she was always fierce. No matter what danger, she kept a cool head (most of the time), and always had a solution for it. She was so logical and brave, and so different from any girl he'd ever known. But even though she was strong and brave, every person had their limits. Clarke had lost her dad, was betrayed by her mother, lost her best friend, and got her heart broken by someone she thought she could trust. Through all the perils of the ground, she remained strong, but that was only when others were around. Did she cry often when she was alone? He hated seeing her like this, it reminded him of Octavia.

Her tears had stopped falling and she just stood there, feeling safe with Bellamy there. His hands were strong and gentle, holding her and catching her tears. He didn't say anything, or judge her for the tears she shed, just held her. She thought about how Bellamy was always tough and rebellious, but he was so protective of his sister, because he loved her. If he loves someone, he'd do anything to protect them, she thought. He may be tough on the outside, but he was really as vulnerable as she was. She had realized this when they had gone on their day trip. She recalled how they saved each other from Dax in the woods, how he almost cried, calling himself a monster. He was anything but, and what she had said was the truth; _she needed him_.

She lifted her green eyes to meet his brown ones. She wondered what she looked like through his eyes. He looked so caring and strong.

"Hey Bell, I think-" Octavia paused.

Bellamy and Clarke jumped and backed away from each other, Bellamy looking at Octavia and Clarke looked at the ground like it was the most interesting thing in the universe.

Octavia raised an eyebrow, a smile playing at her lips. "I think Miller wants you, Bell."

"Yeah, I'll… um… go check on that now." He walked back into camp without a glance back, with Octavia right behind him, but not before she flashed a wicked grin at Clarke so fast she thought she had imagined it.

Clarke stood alone, and she finally said a proper goodbye to Wells, and a Merry Christmas. Boy, did she miss Christmas a few years ago. Nothing had been wrong, they weren't fighting for their lives or already dead. And nobody was depending on Clarke to survive.

She walked back into camp, and worked most of the day on various jobs. Mainly helping anyone who was hurt, but aside from that, she was directing people to talk with their parents or loved ones through the radio. The only other thing she did all day was avoid Finn. To be honest, she was in a weird mood to begin with and dealing with Finn would only make this Christmas worse, if that was even possible.

As the day went on, people realized it was getting a bit colder, but not too bad, so they bundled up more. Clarke was sure it would snow at some point soon. That would be the only highlight for her right now.

The day went by slowly, and Clarke was in a haze. Her mind kept returning to Christmas or Bellamy. His strong hands, his chocolate brown eyes, his ruffled hair- she shook the thought out of her head, but it always came back. They had shared multiple glances, but they were full of awkward subtext.

At one point, Clarke had gone out with a gun and practiced. And by practice, she aimed and made sure she was holding it right. They couldn't fire, they'd be wasting ammo. She kept thinking about Bellamy teaching her to hold a gun, how she'd felt so stupid that she didn't know how to even _hold_ a gun. He'd walked over and moved her hand up higher to steady the gun, covering her hand with his own. And then he placed his hand on her shoulder. That lasted about two seconds before he pulled away, leaving warmth where his hands had been. After that he tried to shoot and show off, but his gun was filled with blanks, so she tried and hers actually shot, and it had felt _amazing_! And then something weird happened between them and Bellamy excused himself saying he needed some air.

Christmas was getting extremely complicated.

Clarke realized things were dying down, tons of people were retiring to the drop ship. Probably some meeting in there or something, she thought. If everyone was going in there, she wouldn't join them. Too many people in one space, and she wasn't in the mood at all. So finally, Clarke retired to her tent.

She snuggled into the blankets and just sat there, thinking about Christmas and her loved ones. Although it made her sad, she welcomed the pain, because it meant she still felt it and still loved the people who were gone.

Her mind drifted to Finn. Anger boiled up inside her, then it turned to pain. A heartbreak, not physical. She thought she could trust him, thought he cared about her and he thought she was special. As it turned out, he was just playing around, and she wasn't special. She completely understood why Raven hated her before, as she hated Raven. Eventually they realized they didn't hate the other person, they hated what Finn did and the pain he caused them.

She couldn't think of Finn anymore, or she might say or do something she would regret.

"Clarke!" Someone yelled outside her tent. It was muffled so she couldn't quite tell who it was. She stepped outside, only to run straight into Raven.

"Watch it Clarke!" Raven laughed as she stumbled back a bit, Clarke doing the same.

"Raven? What do you need?"

"We need you to come to the drop ship." And with that she ran to the drop ship, leaving behind a confused and bewildered Clarke.

Clarke's mind raced, thinking there was a problem. Her mind tried to think of what it could be… A grounder attack? Someone's hurt badly? What could it be? She ran to the drop ship. What she saw inside was definitely not what she expected.

She walked in and was met with a big party going on. Monty and Jasper had made a ton of their famous Moonshine, and kids were drinking it happily. There were makeshift games around and everyone was having a good time with each other.

Clarke put her hands over her mouth, almost crying. It was amazing, and she had a feeling just who was responsible.

"Clarke! Merry Christmas!" Speaking of the responsible one…

"Octavia! Did you do this?"

She nodded. "What do you think? It's Christmas, right? I mean, I don't know much about it but Bellamy knew and so did a few other kids, but we tried. It's mostly for you, but everyone else just wanted a reason to party and take a break." She spoke excitedly.

Clarke pulled Octavia into a hug. "It's perfect. Just what I needed." Octavia hugged her back.

"I'm glad we could make your holiday better. I mean, it won't be as great as before, but we really wanted to try. And some of the others noticed you weren't as… well, happy today so they agreed this would brighten your day!" She pulled back and turned around. "Everyone! We can move the festivities outside now, too!" She yelled above the roar of the party.

"You kept them inside until I got here." It wasn't really a question, but Octavia nodded anyway. "Thank you, so much. I don't know what I did to deserve this-"

"Come on Clarke, it's just us being nice! And I know there's not much gift exchanging, but me and Raven got you one!" She grinned evilly and laughed. "But first," she held up a cup, "some moonshine to get you in the mood!"

Clarke took it without hesitation. Octavia was right, she did need it. So she chugged it down, causing Octavia's smile to grow wider. They found Raven and the three of them danced for a while, not having a care in the world.

"Clarke, come on! Present time!" Octavia and Raven grinned, Raven tugging Clarke out of the drop ship, and Octavia running off somewhere.

"Raven, why did Octavia run off?" Clarke asked, suspicion growing.

"She's got to get your present ready! And _you_ have to go wait in your tent until we are ready. Don't try to peek, because that's cheating!" Raven laughed again. At least _she_ was enjoying this.

Clarke put her hands up. "Alright! I'm going!" She walked into her tent, the curiosity was killing her. She started thinking about what it could be, but she couldn't come up with anything.

"Clarke?" A voice called, deeper and definitely not Octavia's.

"You can come out now!" This time the voice was Octavia's, and Clarke could practically hear her and Raven's giggling.

She stepped out of her tent only to run into another person, this time she was the only one who stumbled back. She had run into Bellamy.

Bellamy looked as confused as she was. Although he was quite handsome and his muscles-

She shook her head, shaking the thoughts away. That was the moonshine talking, not her, she told herself. But why did that feel like a lie?

"Come on you two! Kiss!" Octavia yelled, laughing the moment she spoke the last word.

Bellamy and Clarke looked at each other, blushing and wide eyed. So this was a surprise to Bellamy as well, he had no idea what his sister was planning.

"It's a mistletoe! Anyone under it has to kiss!" Raven yelled, giving Octavia a high five.

They both looked up, seeing a strange plant that must've been a mistletoe. Clarke had heard of them, but there were no pictures to tell. And where in the world did Octavia and Raven find one? Or even come up with this bizarre plan?

Bellamy and Clarke looked at each other again, blushing. Clarke didn't see the big deal about this, while Octavia and Raven were acting like they were the stars of a soap opera or something.

Clarke looked at Bellamy, wondering if she should kiss him or not, despite the two girls chanting "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" repeatedly. It was a tradition, but she didn't _have_ to. But did she want to?

Bellamy rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, giving Octavia a death glare. Then he ran his hand through his hair. "Okay, O. What the hell is going on?"

"It's just a mistletoe Bell, calm down. You have to kiss her, or else you break tradition." She giggled some more.

"Fine, but only because it's tradition." He said, putting a hand behind Clarke's head and leaning down so their lips met. His lips were warm and he kissed her gently. She barely had time to decide if she liked it, because Bellamy pulled away. "There, happy now?" He asked.

Clarke's face fell. He acted like he'd rather do anything else, than kiss her. She turned and walked towards the gate of camp, shaking her head. She heard Raven call after her, but then she stopped. And she could also hear Octavia slap Bellamy on the arm, and Bellamy's little yelp. After that she heard footsteps behind her but didn't want to turn around.

"Clarke! Clarke, wait, please!"

"Not now Finn!" She practically growled.

"Clarke, please! Hear me out!" He called after her as she walked past the gate.

"Finn, please, just leave."

He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. "No, I can't leave. You can't be out here alone, plus I need to talk to you."

"Let me go, Finn." She said calmly.

"Clarke, you have to stop hating me. We have something between us, and I can tell you can't forget that!" His hand dug into her arm. "The only way we can achieve peace with anyone, especially the grounders, we need to work together. That means you need to be able to talk to me, and look at me."

"Finn, stop. You're drunk, and upset." Clarke looked at her arm where his hand painfully grasped her arm. "Finn, let me go, I just need some air. Please." Clarke turned to go, but his grip tightened, causing her to let out a yelp of pain. "Finn, you're hurting me! Let me go! I don't want to hurt you-"

"But I will." Finn's hand was ripped off her arm, causing her to fall to the ground, hard. Something warm trickled down the side of her face from her temple. She smelled blood, and realized it was her own. She looked up to see who helped her, but she already knew who it was. Bellamy. He had given Finn a few punches and stood in between him and Clarke. _Very protective of him_, she thought.

Finn seemed to sober up quickly and realize what he'd done. "Clarke, I'm so sorry! Please! I didn't mean- I'm sorry! I would never hurt you! You have to know that!"

"Just go." Clarke whispered, her head throbbed.

Finn looked at her, eyes sad. He whispered one last apology, and after a moments hesitation, he walked back into camp, disappearing behind the wall.

Bellamy bent down next to Clarke. His eyes were full of concern. "You alright there, Clarke?"

"I must've hit my head pretty hard, because I think you just called me 'Clarke'" She tried to laugh a little. He gave her a half-smile. "But, otherwise, yeah, I think I'm fine." He helped her sit up, his hand on her back. His eyes searched hers, then he must've noticed the blood.

"Shit!" Bellamy cursed, ripping a small piece of his shirt off and holding it to Clarke's temple. The pressure made her want to gasp, but she held it in. She wouldn't let him think she was weak.

"Come on, we should get you back. Do you have any bandages in your tent?" She nodded. He lifted her off the ground gently, steadying her so she could stand.

He helped her back to her tent, although she really didn't need the help. It was probably just a scratch, but she was meaning to talk to him about before, and he was so strong and warm…

They reached her tent and he paused to look at her wound. "This isn't bad right? It's just a scratch? Right?" He asked, a frantic note in his voice.

"It's fine, it's already stopped bleeding, so it was just a scratch. Not bad." She grabbed a bandage and cleaned the wound so it wouldn't get infected.

"I'm gonna kill him." Bellamy whispered, barely audible.

"Bellamy, look at me." She met his eyes. "I'm fine."

"Good." He said, still whispering. They were fairly close. She hated to ruin the moment, but she was still a little upset about earlier. Well, she didn't want to say _upset_, just not alright… okay upset.

She sighed. "Bellamy. What the hell?"

"Um, what?" He asked, confusion covering his face.

"Before. With your sister and Raven. What the hell? You acted like you'd rather be soaking in grounder blood than kiss me. Not that I care, but you acted one way when we were outside the wall this morning, then another way when Octavia and Raven told you to kiss me. And now you're all protective and coming in like you're my knight in shining armor, because I'm a damsel in distress!"

"Clarke-"

"I wasn't a damsel in distress, okay? I could've handled that myself. I could helped myself, you didn't need to swoop in and save me. You know why?"

"Clarke!"

"Because I'm not weak! And-"

Her words were cut off by Bellamy bringing his lips to hers. They were warm, just like the kiss from before. This time, the kiss was gentle and real, not forced. He brought his hand to the back of her head, his fingers playing with her hair. He broke away, but only slightly, their foreheads still touching.

"You're not weak. You're one of the strongest people I know."

"What?" She whispered, gazing into his deep chocolate eyes.

"Clarke, you're beautiful and strong, and-"

"Stop talking." She cut him off by bringing her lips to his.

This time the kiss was more needy, more desperate. She wrapped her arms behind his head. He brought one of his hands around her waist, the other remained playing with her hair. Something in the kiss shifted. Bellamy kissed her deeper, his hand roaming the small of her back. Clarke moved her hand in his hair, wrapping her fingers in the curls of hair. His hand slid down past her waist, and Clarke jumped up, wrapping her legs around Bellamy's waist. He held her, kissing her desperately. Her hands moved under his shirt, tugging it up over his broad shoulders. He lifted her shirt over her head, his hands warm to her skin. He kissed her jaw, traveling down to her neck. She gasped, and brought his lips back to hers, desperately. He carried her across the tent, laying her back against the blankets.

**(Later)**

Clarke snuggled up against Bellamy, his strong arms holding her close. She twisted her neck so she could look at him. He stared into her eyes, a more gentle kindness than before. His fingers played with her hair, while she traced random patterns on his arm. She wished she could stay curled up in his arms the rest of the night. Hell, she wished she could stay there forever.

Of course, they both knew they couldn't. They could practically sense something wrong outside her tent. After a few complaints, they both got up and got ready. It was still dark outside, and Clarke guessed it was around eleven to midnight.

Clarke was about to leave the tent, when Bellamy, who was still shirtless, spun her around. He wrapped an arm around her waist and he brought his lips to hers. She kissed him back, her hands tracing his spine. They broke apart, breathing deeper. With that, Clarke smiled at him once more and left the tent.

She walked out, without walking straight into anyone, and noticed that the rest of the 100 were all looking to the sky. She walked over to Octavia, who's face was lit up brighter than the sun.

"Octavia? What is it?"

She looked at Clarke, the joy on her face obvious. "It's snowing, Clarke!"

Clarke looked up to the sky, seeing spots of white. At first, she dismissed them for the stars, but then she realized, after further inspection, the white spots were moving. They danced across the sky and down to the ground. It was the most beautiful thing Clarke had seen.

A hand rested on Clarke's hip bone. She knew that touch, the safety of it and the warmth it gave her. She leaned into Bellamy, who was now at her side, his arm around her. They were looking at the sky.

"Merry Christmas, Clarke. The best holiday of the year, right?" He asked her, all while not taking his eyes off the snow.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Bellamy. And you're right, but there wasn't really gift giving. I don't count whatever the hell Octavia and Raven did." She shot Octavia and evil stare, but she was too busy grinning to care.

"Well, you got me pardoned, remember? It may have been an early present, but _you_ are the one who gave the speech to Jaha about me. Thank you, again. For everything." With that, he leaned in and kissed her again.

Octavia smiled evilly, giving them a nod. Clarke could've sworn she heard Octavia mutter "I knew it" or something like that. Jasper and Monty gave each other a high five. Raven laughed a little, but acted as if nothing happened.

And Finn, Clarke could practically feel the glare she knew he was giving Bellamy. As if Bellamy knew too, he pulled her closer to him, wrapping both his arms around her. She snuggled into his warmth, not caring what any of the others thought.

_This Christmas was… Different. But good._ She thought as she held onto Bellamy. _Maybe things won't be too bad anymore. Being sent to the ground wasn't the _worst_ thing, good things came out of this as well._

She smiled and kissed Bellamy again, loving the feeling of him kissing her back.


End file.
